Moderation in ALL things

"Moderation in ALL things, a saying I have tried to live my life by; not always successfully but nevertheless it is my goal.

Being moderate is being in the middle. Choosing to not sway to the extremes is the middle ground. But it is also the hardest ground to walk, play or live upon. Being in a moderate MAKES you try (at least try) to see things from all sides and make a choice that will represent a balance within the entire plane of choices.

Trying to live a life of moderation, gives you the choice to try everything and adopt those things that bring you happiness and balance.

I sometimes wonder if chocolate is an extreme, and that finding a balance within loving and wanting chocolate is impossible. So far, for me, I think chocolate is the one food item that I have a difficult time choosing moderation. Yes I am admitted chocoholic, with a special liking for dark, single-bean chocolate. But with the help of a friend (who keeps the chocolate at her house) I can be more moderate about chocolate.

Oy! I have digressed.

Strong feelings often get in the way of being moderate. Whether you are choosing a platform from an array of political opponents or trying to remain calm and in-charge when you just found out your 17 year-old has been having sex (with a large amount of lying chaser); choosing to be a rational, thinking adult can be difficult. Emotions play a large part in whether we can look past the reactions to calmly choose among the actions.

Moderation adopted as a personal creedo is challenging to begin with, but does become easier when it has been practiced. My mother once told me "the first time you have to do something (unpleasant) is the hardest. The second time it is so much easier". I have found this advice to be true, with even the most icky tasks that I am reluctant to do. (As an example, things I find hard to do: say No to friends and family, return items to the store, deliver bad news . . .)

As I look at the spectrum of life, the baby to the elderly, is moderation a choice for only those old enough to discern and young enough makes choices based on the needs of "the whole"? For instance, I do not expect a child of much less than 10 years old to be able to make the choice that will benefit the whole group, they are highly egocentric, and as the "middle-aged adult" I know this to be true. But I have also witnessed the elderly be unable to choose the middle ground, the choice that would benefit the group as a whole. Why do we revert, and again begin to choose based on our egocentric needs. Is it again finding ourselves alone and needing to feel control and "self-relilant" that urges us to prefer extreme choices? Or I am I seeing a very skewed snapshot of the elderly?

I would like to be able to unequivocally say that my life is totally based in moderation, but that is an extreme. I am not always moderate in my thinking, living, eating or being. I choose to over indulge, sometime by not choosing. Being unwilling or unable to choose is not moderation, it is making a choice to an extreme. (more on that later)

Try to live a day in moderation, if you have never done it. I like it.

It is me, or is EVERYTHING in the middle??

During life we are encouraged to be FIRST, to strive for a position at the TOP; why then does everything seem to me to be about being in the middle?
It could be argued that I see life this way because I, myself, am in the middle-point of my life. But I would inevitably argue back that this was not the case, the middle is in fact the place we seek and the place that makes us happy.
When we are small we seek the middle seat, between our parents. That precious seat is fought over by siblings and grandchildren. We want to feel the sides, the boundaries around us. Frequently it is explained to new mothers that babies like to be swaddled tightly, to feel the boundaries as they would in the womb. From our earliest beginnings we seek the middle, the boundaries to tell us where to exist happily.
As we grow, we push at those same loving parents, seeking to find the boundaries, that have now grown, which will help us to find a place, a middle if you will, in our world.
I, personally, have spent many hours meditating on the middle. I believe it IS the happiest place on this Earth.
Being between the heavens and the earth, between birth and death, sitting between two dear loved ones, all of it gladdens my heart.
Other places of happiness for me are between the pages of a book, or the covers on my bed, snuggled between beloved pets, surrounded amid friends, these places of middle are pure joy. The middle is a grand place to be, try it. (perhaps you are already there!)

This past week has been a more serious week, which seems odd because it was my birthday. But even though I celebrated another year of life and existence, I also housed heavy thoughts about my father's health and my mother's mental health. It is very hard to watch your parents age, and reach a place that they are not happy with their living. I have been privy to aging. I saw my own great-grandparent age, my grandparents age; and I vigorously and loudly celebrate my own aging every year. But I have not really given much thought or pondered the real and abrupt changes that happen to the human (my parents) as she/he ages.

I am perplexed and at the same time I can see, as if from the outside of a window, these mental, physical and emotional changes that do/will impose into our living.

If I can see that my mother is short-tempered and that my father is being unreasonable, do they see it within themselves? Do they need me to bring it up and expose it to the light? Or is it something that is always hidden, unless like me you are a witness? Will this knowledge assist me in my own aging?

I am not seeking to not age. I am trying, hopefully, to celebrate my life as I live it. I know that aging is part of the human experience, and I want a full experience. I also want my observations, my gained knowledge to not be given away to those who might not otherwise have witnessed these goingson. What then is my job, chore or goal? Am I a town crier? a person who can set out a "blog" to be a vanguard to those who might not be so inclined to typed word?

I want to believe that my life will have made a mark on the world, someone else. I want my life to count for something? Is it enough that I have learned and grown? does it have to be a milestone or statement for future generations? Is "middle-hood" something that, oddly, is where everyone is and stands?

Le Milieu-This is where I live, breathe, sleep, work and play. It is hard to consider this place I find myself, yet it strikes me as the place I want to be and don't want to be. I was (really am) the middle child. But I am the oldest girl. I feel in the middle so often on issues, in relationships and within my own self (does that make me the ego, id or the superego??? So much to ponder.)
I want to blog my search for other ground. I want to come in first somewhere. I want to realize and cherish (is that too strong a word) my last places. I hope to write something that will be read to cause laughter. I enjoy a good laugh and I am hoping to have one here.